This will be my last post on I Need SuperNanny. Why? Because I've come to a realization that my children were not the problem, it was my attitude towards them. Recently, we've pulled both Jack-Jack and Dash out of their private schools and I am homeschooling them. What a surprisingly wonderful experience this has been!
Our schedules are often so busy that we don't have time in the evenings to sit down for dinner and talk about issues that may be bothering us, or just to talk about our day. What had been missing was that I didn't really understand what was going on especially with Dash. Now that we are together every day, life is calmer and more joyful.
We take walks, play games together, eat meals together and are really getting to know each other. I am finding that I love being around my children! Dash and Jack-Jack have amazing senses of humor and are wildly creative and imaginative. I think I am learning as much or more than they are. . . now if I could only convince Violet to homeschool!
Thank you to my followers for taking this journey through parenting with me. I am blogging about homeschooling at www.theopendooracademy.org.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
I CAN go out in Public with my Kids!
I can't believe it has been a month and a half since my last post. So much has been going that if I had to devise a superpower for myself it would be the ability to add more hours to my day, or an extra day in the week!
Dash left his private school last month, and is now attending a cyber charter school, complete with its own challenges--namely, requiring complete organization (NOT Dash's strong suit). But, he is adjusting to the schedule and academically he is excelling.
I realize now that the behavioral problems we'd been having with Dash were related to the stress, anxiety, and bullying he was experiencing at school. He would come home angry and upset and take those emotions out on his siblings. Lately, things have been calmer and more peaceful. No, not totally peaceful, but five minutes is better than none, right?
In fact, on Monday I took all three kids--YES, all three at the same time--to a local arboretum for a day out. We had a great time, and I actually enjoyed spending time with them instead of thinking that I had made a mistake bringing them out together in public!
Dash left his private school last month, and is now attending a cyber charter school, complete with its own challenges--namely, requiring complete organization (NOT Dash's strong suit). But, he is adjusting to the schedule and academically he is excelling.
I realize now that the behavioral problems we'd been having with Dash were related to the stress, anxiety, and bullying he was experiencing at school. He would come home angry and upset and take those emotions out on his siblings. Lately, things have been calmer and more peaceful. No, not totally peaceful, but five minutes is better than none, right?
In fact, on Monday I took all three kids--YES, all three at the same time--to a local arboretum for a day out. We had a great time, and I actually enjoyed spending time with them instead of thinking that I had made a mistake bringing them out together in public!
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Change is Good, Right?
The last few weeks have been filled with lots of changes in our household. I am hoping that they will all end up being positive changes for us.
Violet has decided to leave the gymnastics training center where she's trained for the past five years and is moving to a gymnastics program closer to home with less practice time and less meet requirements.
Dash is fed up with the K-12 private school he has attended since kindergarten. We are now in the process of enrolling him in another school for at least the next two years. He might return to the private school for Upper School, if he chooses to do so.
Violet has decided to leave the gymnastics training center where she's trained for the past five years and is moving to a gymnastics program closer to home with less practice time and less meet requirements.
Dash is fed up with the K-12 private school he has attended since kindergarten. We are now in the process of enrolling him in another school for at least the next two years. He might return to the private school for Upper School, if he chooses to do so.
Monday, August 23, 2010
City Survivalist Mom. . . Obsessed with Keeping my Kids Safe
I have a secret confession. . . I've become obsessed over the past few years with stockpiling emergency supplies in case there is ever a catastrophe in my city. I don't live in the rural mid-west, so growing livestock and a self-sustaining garden are out of the question. Instead, I've accumulated so many canned goods that my pantry is overflowing and I've had to clear out space in my walk-in closet for storage bins.
Mr. Incredible smirks and shakes his head, and I am sure Dash and Jack-Jack think I'm nuts too! However, I did feel validated when I read that September is National Preparedness Month. Besides, even though there are times I do want to wring their necks, I love my children with every fiber of my being and will do everything in my power to make sure they are safe. So, this blog is for all the parents out there to get us all more focused on planning for emergencies!
Can Your Family Survive a Catastrophe?
FEMA has declared that September is National Preparedness Month, and encourages all citizens to plan now for emergencies. The time to start planning for an emergency is not in the middle of one. They have a website devoted to helping families, citizens, and businesses with emergency planning. Go to www.ready.gov for more info.
Let me just say that I am NOT a fatalist or pessimist, but I do believe in preparing for emergencies and possible catastrophes. Admittedly, I don’t read the Bible often (shhh. . . don’t tell my mother), but I do agree with what is written in Proverbs 22:3, “A prudent person foresees the difficulties ahead and prepares for them; the simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences.” Since I don’t consider myself a simpleton, I have been talking to the kids about devising a family emergency plan and a home emergency kit.
89 Cents Could Save Your Life
FEMA guidelines suggest that everyone should prepare a 72-hour survival kit that includes one gallon of water per day per person. It is possible to survive for days, even weeks, without food, but a person can only survive for about 3 days without water. Water is the most important purchase you can make for your emergency kit.
So, last week Violet and I went to our local grocery store and stocked up on 89-cents gallons on water. Not a bad investment for an item that could be the difference between life and death!
My "Must-Have" Item: A Hand-Cranked Emergency Radio
No family should be without access to communications during an emergency or disaster, and Amazon.com sells a selection of hand-cranked and/or battery-operated radios. I ordered a CC Observer wind-up emergency radio by C.Crane from Amazon.com for my family. I chose it because the ratings were great, and the radio was affordable ($40)—and I am not disappointed!
The AM/FM radio includes Weather band, and there’s an LED flashlight on the side of the radio. It runs off of the built-in rechargeable batteries or 3 "AA" alkaline batteries (not included) if preferred. Of course, if you don't have alkaline batteries around, just wind-up the radio and keep it running as long as you need. It can even be used to charge a cell phone.
If and when your power goes out, having a way of receiving information is vitally important, so check out a selection of emergency radios on the right. All radios are available at Amazon.com.
A Freebie for All
A few years ago, after Hurricane Katrina, natural disaster planning was on the forefront of my mind, and I located a list of items to have on hand—items that would be the first to disappear, during a disaster. I believe that everyone should review this list as a starting point for their emergency kits,so check out this link. http://www.thepowerhour.com/news/items_disappearfirst.htm
Okay, that’s enough of my Public Service Announcement . . . but seriously, your life and the lives of your children are too precious to be left to chance (or to expecting the government to come to your rescue), so please, please, please begin preparing now. And, let’s hope we’ll never have to use our emergency kits.
***SPOILER ALERT*** September's giveaway will be related to this blog post, so start planning your emergency kits today to be able to get in on the giveaway!
Mr. Incredible smirks and shakes his head, and I am sure Dash and Jack-Jack think I'm nuts too! However, I did feel validated when I read that September is National Preparedness Month. Besides, even though there are times I do want to wring their necks, I love my children with every fiber of my being and will do everything in my power to make sure they are safe. So, this blog is for all the parents out there to get us all more focused on planning for emergencies!
Can Your Family Survive a Catastrophe?
FEMA has declared that September is National Preparedness Month, and encourages all citizens to plan now for emergencies. The time to start planning for an emergency is not in the middle of one. They have a website devoted to helping families, citizens, and businesses with emergency planning. Go to www.ready.gov for more info.
Let me just say that I am NOT a fatalist or pessimist, but I do believe in preparing for emergencies and possible catastrophes. Admittedly, I don’t read the Bible often (shhh. . . don’t tell my mother), but I do agree with what is written in Proverbs 22:3, “A prudent person foresees the difficulties ahead and prepares for them; the simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences.” Since I don’t consider myself a simpleton, I have been talking to the kids about devising a family emergency plan and a home emergency kit.
89 Cents Could Save Your Life
FEMA guidelines suggest that everyone should prepare a 72-hour survival kit that includes one gallon of water per day per person. It is possible to survive for days, even weeks, without food, but a person can only survive for about 3 days without water. Water is the most important purchase you can make for your emergency kit. So, last week Violet and I went to our local grocery store and stocked up on 89-cents gallons on water. Not a bad investment for an item that could be the difference between life and death!
My "Must-Have" Item: A Hand-Cranked Emergency Radio
No family should be without access to communications during an emergency or disaster, and Amazon.com sells a selection of hand-cranked and/or battery-operated radios. I ordered a CC Observer wind-up emergency radio by C.Crane from Amazon.com for my family. I chose it because the ratings were great, and the radio was affordable ($40)—and I am not disappointed!
The AM/FM radio includes Weather band, and there’s an LED flashlight on the side of the radio. It runs off of the built-in rechargeable batteries or 3 "AA" alkaline batteries (not included) if preferred. Of course, if you don't have alkaline batteries around, just wind-up the radio and keep it running as long as you need. It can even be used to charge a cell phone.
If and when your power goes out, having a way of receiving information is vitally important, so check out a selection of emergency radios on the right. All radios are available at Amazon.com.
A Freebie for All
A few years ago, after Hurricane Katrina, natural disaster planning was on the forefront of my mind, and I located a list of items to have on hand—items that would be the first to disappear, during a disaster. I believe that everyone should review this list as a starting point for their emergency kits,so check out this link. http://www.thepowerhour.com/news/items_disappearfirst.htm
Okay, that’s enough of my Public Service Announcement . . . but seriously, your life and the lives of your children are too precious to be left to chance (or to expecting the government to come to your rescue), so please, please, please begin preparing now. And, let’s hope we’ll never have to use our emergency kits.
***SPOILER ALERT*** September's giveaway will be related to this blog post, so start planning your emergency kits today to be able to get in on the giveaway!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
School Bullying . . . Are Schools Doing Enough?
With a new school season just around the corner, school issues have been on my mind lately. AS with all parents, I wish my children to have a successful school year. Perusing the Supernanny.com website, I found an interesting article by the Supernanny team on school bullying which suggests that only a quarter of all parents in the United States feels that their child(ren)'s school do enough to prevent bullying. I've included excerpts from the article below:
Is your child safe from school bullies?
Key to a child’s successful education is an environment in which he or she can learn safely – but according to a report released today by the C S Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll on Children’s Health, only 26% of parents would give their child’s high school an A for preventing bullying and school violence, and 38% of parents would give their child’s elementary or junior high an A.
“Children who are victims of bullying can have serious health effects, including physical injuries and emotional problems such as depression, low self-esteem, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts and actions,” says Matthew Davis, MD, director of the poll and associate professor of pediatrics and internal medicine at the U-M Medical School. “Unfortunately, in the United States, we’ve seen some tragedies in the past few years regarding episodes of school violence that have gotten a lot of media coverage and upset many parents.”
In the US, an estimated 160,000 children miss school every day out of fear of attack or intimidation by other students, according to the National Education Association. Since 1992, there have been 250 violent deaths in schools, and bullying has been a factor in many school shootings.
“What this poll shows is that parents are still very concerned about bullying in their schools,” says Davis. “About three-quarters of states nationwide have implemented bullying prevention laws that are designed to encourage, and in some cases force schools to present and deliver bullying prevention curriculum to students – but based on these findings, it doesn’t appear that those curricula or programs are working effectively.”
The poll asked 1,087 parents across the US in May 2009 to assign their child’s school an A through F grade in five categories: overall safety, building security, bullying and school violence prevention, keeping students safe during a school-wide emergency, and keeping parents informed in the event of a school-wide emergency.
What Parents Can Do
Parents who have concerns about bullying in their child’s school can get involved in a few ways. Davis suggests parents become active in local safe school and safe community programs where bullying and violence prevention programs already exist.
In the few states where bullying prevention programs do not exist, Davis suggests parents get involved in the legislative process by advocating for bullying programs to be put in place using other states as examples. “But right at home, there’s a way for parents to make a difference too,” he says. “Parents can listen to their kids who are their eyes and ears in the schools, especially about issues of bullying. It can be really hard for children to bring up the topic of bullying so parents may need to ask directly about it and make home a safe place to talk about this important problem.”
Is your child safe from school bullies?
“Children who are victims of bullying can have serious health effects, including physical injuries and emotional problems such as depression, low self-esteem, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts and actions,” says Matthew Davis, MD, director of the poll and associate professor of pediatrics and internal medicine at the U-M Medical School. “Unfortunately, in the United States, we’ve seen some tragedies in the past few years regarding episodes of school violence that have gotten a lot of media coverage and upset many parents.”
In the US, an estimated 160,000 children miss school every day out of fear of attack or intimidation by other students, according to the National Education Association. Since 1992, there have been 250 violent deaths in schools, and bullying has been a factor in many school shootings.
“What this poll shows is that parents are still very concerned about bullying in their schools,” says Davis. “About three-quarters of states nationwide have implemented bullying prevention laws that are designed to encourage, and in some cases force schools to present and deliver bullying prevention curriculum to students – but based on these findings, it doesn’t appear that those curricula or programs are working effectively.”
The poll asked 1,087 parents across the US in May 2009 to assign their child’s school an A through F grade in five categories: overall safety, building security, bullying and school violence prevention, keeping students safe during a school-wide emergency, and keeping parents informed in the event of a school-wide emergency.
What Parents Can Do
Parents who have concerns about bullying in their child’s school can get involved in a few ways. Davis suggests parents become active in local safe school and safe community programs where bullying and violence prevention programs already exist.
In the few states where bullying prevention programs do not exist, Davis suggests parents get involved in the legislative process by advocating for bullying programs to be put in place using other states as examples. “But right at home, there’s a way for parents to make a difference too,” he says. “Parents can listen to their kids who are their eyes and ears in the schools, especially about issues of bullying. It can be really hard for children to bring up the topic of bullying so parents may need to ask directly about it and make home a safe place to talk about this important problem.”
Monday, August 16, 2010
Contest has ended...Are You The Winner?
The Back-to-School Giveaway has now ended, and Mami2JCN is this month's winner. Congratulations and Happy Shopping!
If you didn't win the Gap gift card, don't despair, you can still score discounted gift cards at Plastic Jungle.
Also, other exciting giveaways are being planned, so stay tuned! And thanks to all who entered this month's giveaway.
If you didn't win the Gap gift card, don't despair, you can still score discounted gift cards at Plastic Jungle.
Also, other exciting giveaways are being planned, so stay tuned! And thanks to all who entered this month's giveaway.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Back-To-School Gap Card Giveaway
Contest Has Ended- The Winner is: Mami2JCN- Congratulations!
This month, one lucky blog reader will receive a $25 GapKids gift card to help take a bite out of back-to-school shopping!
Gap is one of my family's favorite stores. The kids like it because clothes are stylish and Dash can always find yet another hoodie to add to his collection!. I like Gap because I can find something for everyone in my family from Jack-Jack's size 7 slim jeans to my not-so-slim (!) jeans, and the prices aren't outrageous. The gift card can be used at any Gap, GapKids, babyGap, GapBody, Gap Outlet location, or gap.com, and there is no expiration date.
With three kids to outfit, I'm always on the lookout for deals on Back-to-School clothes, supplies, and accessories. I found one of the best ways to maximize my spending dollars is by purchasing sale items using gift cards I've purchased at a discount through Plastic Jungle.
Pay as low as $70 for a $100 gift card at your favorite retailer! - PlasticJungle.com - Buy, sell and trade gift cards.
Not only can you buy gift cards at a discount, but if you've received gift cards that you will never use, or you'd rather have the cash, Plastic Jungle will purchase them from you!
How to Enter: The contest is open to U.S. residents only and ends at midnight on August 15, 2010.
1. Become a follower of this blog and leave a comment indicating that you are now a "follower." - 1 entry
2. Go to Plastic Jungle at the link above, browse through the site, then return to this blog and comment on how much you can save on your favorite gift card.- 1 entry
Giveaway Rules:
This month, one lucky blog reader will receive a $25 GapKids gift card to help take a bite out of back-to-school shopping!
Gap is one of my family's favorite stores. The kids like it because clothes are stylish and Dash can always find yet another hoodie to add to his collection!. I like Gap because I can find something for everyone in my family from Jack-Jack's size 7 slim jeans to my not-so-slim (!) jeans, and the prices aren't outrageous. The gift card can be used at any Gap, GapKids, babyGap, GapBody, Gap Outlet location, or gap.com, and there is no expiration date.
With three kids to outfit, I'm always on the lookout for deals on Back-to-School clothes, supplies, and accessories. I found one of the best ways to maximize my spending dollars is by purchasing sale items using gift cards I've purchased at a discount through Plastic Jungle.
Pay as low as $70 for a $100 gift card at your favorite retailer! - PlasticJungle.com - Buy, sell and trade gift cards.
Not only can you buy gift cards at a discount, but if you've received gift cards that you will never use, or you'd rather have the cash, Plastic Jungle will purchase them from you!
How to Enter: The contest is open to U.S. residents only and ends at midnight on August 15, 2010.
1. Become a follower of this blog and leave a comment indicating that you are now a "follower." - 1 entry
2. Go to Plastic Jungle at the link above, browse through the site, then return to this blog and comment on how much you can save on your favorite gift card.- 1 entry
Giveaway Rules:
- Winners will be contacted by e-mail and will have 72 hours to respond to the prize notification.
- All winners will be drawn using Random.org
- Giveaway open to residents of the continental United States only
Cut Michelle Obama Some Slack!
There has recently been a lot of talk about the First Lady's trip to Spain, and how much she spent on the trip.
I know I'll get some flack for my viewpoint, but I commend Michelle Obama for taking a mother-daughter trip abroad with Sasha. Michelle Obama does not apologize for putting her family first, nor should she. Yes, the trip to Spain came with a hefty price tag, but unfortunately, the Obamas no longer have the luxury of traveling without an entourage, including a security detail, and if I were in Michelle Obama's shoes, protecting my children would be at the top of my list, no matter what the cost.
Could they have gone somewhere domestically? Sure. But that is not what they chose to do. As a mom, I'd love to expose my children to as much of the world as I can. Sure, they can learn about Spain or Greece or Korea by reading books, watching videos, and even taking a trip to a local Spanish, Greek, or Korean restaurant. But the journey, the experience of leaving what is familiar and immersing yourself in another culture is an education that no textbook can teach.
Let's be honest. If you had the opportunity to travel to Spain this summer with your children, stay in a five-star hotel, and have lunch with the king and queen, would you pass it up? I know I wouldn't!
Parenting is hard. There are many days when I, your average citizen, second-guess myself about decisions I've made or a comment I've made. I sometime worry needlessly about my children's safety when they leave the house to catch the bus for school, or carpool to a party. I cannot imagine parenting with the world looking on. All I say, "Keep up the good work, Michelle Obama!"
I know I'll get some flack for my viewpoint, but I commend Michelle Obama for taking a mother-daughter trip abroad with Sasha. Michelle Obama does not apologize for putting her family first, nor should she. Yes, the trip to Spain came with a hefty price tag, but unfortunately, the Obamas no longer have the luxury of traveling without an entourage, including a security detail, and if I were in Michelle Obama's shoes, protecting my children would be at the top of my list, no matter what the cost.
Could they have gone somewhere domestically? Sure. But that is not what they chose to do. As a mom, I'd love to expose my children to as much of the world as I can. Sure, they can learn about Spain or Greece or Korea by reading books, watching videos, and even taking a trip to a local Spanish, Greek, or Korean restaurant. But the journey, the experience of leaving what is familiar and immersing yourself in another culture is an education that no textbook can teach.
Let's be honest. If you had the opportunity to travel to Spain this summer with your children, stay in a five-star hotel, and have lunch with the king and queen, would you pass it up? I know I wouldn't!
Parenting is hard. There are many days when I, your average citizen, second-guess myself about decisions I've made or a comment I've made. I sometime worry needlessly about my children's safety when they leave the house to catch the bus for school, or carpool to a party. I cannot imagine parenting with the world looking on. All I say, "Keep up the good work, Michelle Obama!"
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
When Mom's Not Perfect . . .
Tonight, while watching Violet's gymnastics practice I made a mistake. I pulled out my camera and forgot to turn off the flash. Pop! The flash illuminated the gym, causing several gymnasts to turn around. I apologized as Violet glared at me and ran her pointer finger across her neck from left to right. Of course, this wasn't the last of it. Violet continued to frown and roll her eyes at me whenever she looked my way. I finally got up and left the gym.
However, at pick-up time, the first thing she mentioned was the mistake I made. OK, yes, I admitted my mistake and had already apologized. How much longer was I going to be chastised for my error?
So, I decided that if I have to be perfect, Violet should be held to the same level of accountability. There is a skill on bars called a squat-on that Violet mastered earlier this summer, but lost. She fell once on the skill during practice, and now does not attack the skill, but is holding back and falling out of it. I told Violet that since I have to be perfect, I expect nothing less on bars now. I am insisting that she re-gain this skill at Thursday's practice, or she can move back down a level.
Is this fair? I think so. If I have to be the perfect mom, she has to be the perfect gymnast. Of course, I know there is no such animal as a perfect person. . . hopefully, Violet will realize it soon, too.
UPDATE: At the next practice, Violet got her squat-on back! I knew she would. She has the skill, she was allowing fear to get in her way, which caused her to "bail out" instead of going for it. She is happily remaining a level 5!
However, at pick-up time, the first thing she mentioned was the mistake I made. OK, yes, I admitted my mistake and had already apologized. How much longer was I going to be chastised for my error?
So, I decided that if I have to be perfect, Violet should be held to the same level of accountability. There is a skill on bars called a squat-on that Violet mastered earlier this summer, but lost. She fell once on the skill during practice, and now does not attack the skill, but is holding back and falling out of it. I told Violet that since I have to be perfect, I expect nothing less on bars now. I am insisting that she re-gain this skill at Thursday's practice, or she can move back down a level.
Is this fair? I think so. If I have to be the perfect mom, she has to be the perfect gymnast. Of course, I know there is no such animal as a perfect person. . . hopefully, Violet will realize it soon, too.
UPDATE: At the next practice, Violet got her squat-on back! I knew she would. She has the skill, she was allowing fear to get in her way, which caused her to "bail out" instead of going for it. She is happily remaining a level 5!
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Back-to-School Shopping
Back-to-School shopping is right around the corner, and I am trying to figure out the best strategy for getting everyone what they need without me having to reach for yet another box of Clairol hair color to cover my gray!
Perhaps, the divide and conquer strategy will work best for shopping, too. It might be more time consuming, but if I take each child by themselves, each shopping trip might be more productive than if I took all three of them at the same time.
The phony bugger compensates the activating follower.
Perhaps, the divide and conquer strategy will work best for shopping, too. It might be more time consuming, but if I take each child by themselves, each shopping trip might be more productive than if I took all three of them at the same time.
The phony bugger compensates the activating follower.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Divide and Conquer
If two's company and three's a crowd, nowhere is this truer than with my children. When two of them are together (it doesn't matter which two), there's very little arguing and fighting. But add the third child and all hell breaks lose.
It is always two against one--whether it is boys against the girl, the youngest two against the oldest, the oldest two against the youngest--someone is left out, picked on, ignored, or tormented. And it escalates in the summer when everyone is home, and when we are in close quarters on vacation in a hotel room or suite. It turns what is supposed to be a relaxing vacation into a stressful experience.
So this summer, for the first time ever, the five of us are not vacationing together.
This week, Violet, Jack-Jack and I are in Orlando, FL. Violet is a Harry Potter fan, so we are here at Universal Studios to check out the new Wizarding World of Harry Potter, and to drink some butter beer! My husband and Dash are spending the week in the Poconos in PA where they've been go-karting and fishing, and plan to spend a day at the Eagles traning camp at Lehigh U.
Below: Violet and Jack-Jack entering Honeydukes in the Wizarding World of Harry Potter for bagsful of candy, wizard-style!
While this divide-and-conquer approach to vacationing is proving to be a great success, I hope that it won't become the norm. Maybe I can use the wand I picked up to cast a spell and turn my kids into perfect little Stepford children!
It is always two against one--whether it is boys against the girl, the youngest two against the oldest, the oldest two against the youngest--someone is left out, picked on, ignored, or tormented. And it escalates in the summer when everyone is home, and when we are in close quarters on vacation in a hotel room or suite. It turns what is supposed to be a relaxing vacation into a stressful experience.
So this summer, for the first time ever, the five of us are not vacationing together.
This week, Violet, Jack-Jack and I are in Orlando, FL. Violet is a Harry Potter fan, so we are here at Universal Studios to check out the new Wizarding World of Harry Potter, and to drink some butter beer! My husband and Dash are spending the week in the Poconos in PA where they've been go-karting and fishing, and plan to spend a day at the Eagles traning camp at Lehigh U.
Below: Violet and Jack-Jack entering Honeydukes in the Wizarding World of Harry Potter for bagsful of candy, wizard-style!
While this divide-and-conquer approach to vacationing is proving to be a great success, I hope that it won't become the norm. Maybe I can use the wand I picked up to cast a spell and turn my kids into perfect little Stepford children!
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Home Alone
I found an article on www.byparents-forparents.com about leaving teens home alone. This is an issue we've recently been facing with Dash, and I think this article offers some great advice and insight. I've included an abbreviated version of the article below:
Home Alone: Is Your Teen Mature Enough?
By Meghan Vivo
Take one teenager, add one empty home and what do you have? A recipe for disaster, say some child development experts. Give an inch and many teens will take advantage of their freedom by breaking the rules, partying with friends, gorging on junk food, spending hours in front of the TV, playing video games, or otherwise misbehaving.
But lots of parents are able to trust their teens to behave appropriately without adult supervision. And when parents trust their children enough to leave them home alone, they seize an opportunity to let their kids grow into responsible, independent adults. After all, in just a few years your teen may be living in a college dorm or starting a career - all without your careful oversight.
So how do you know if your teen is mature enough to stay home alone? Start by asking yourself the following questions:
Setting Ground Rules
If you decide your teen is ready to stay home alone, gradually start leaving them alone for 30-minute intervals and then build up to longer periods of time. Ask how your child would handle different scenarios that may arise and make sure they know how to reach you as well as neighbors, emergency services and other resources in case something happens.
Experts also suggest having emergency evacuation and fire safety plans in place and teaching your child basic first aid, though surveys show that roughly 25 percent of parents leave their children home alone without adequate guidance about safety.
Next, set up a few ground rules. For example, instruct your teen not to answer the door in your absence and discuss how to tell anyone who calls that parents aren’t available. If your child is fairly young, talk about which appliances are okay to use and whether TV, Internet and video games are acceptable pastimes without parental supervision.
Also decide whether your child can have friends over or leave the house, and whether prior permission is required. Because teens fare best with structure, make sure you offer some ideas about what should be done while you’re gone, such as homework, reading or chores.
As with all rules, you should decide ahead of time what the consequences will be for breaking them. Then be sure to follow through with the consequences if a rule is broken and take some time before letting your child stay home alone again.
If you’re considering leaving your teen home alone, the final decision should be based on what you feel is best for your child’s development. While you don’t want to miss out on a valuable growth experience, you and your teen both have to be ready for new responsibilities. With a little guidance and preparation, your teen will be ready to prove that they are capable of exercising good judgment and are worthy of your trust.
Home Alone: Is Your Teen Mature Enough?
By Meghan Vivo
Take one teenager, add one empty home and what do you have? A recipe for disaster, say some child development experts. Give an inch and many teens will take advantage of their freedom by breaking the rules, partying with friends, gorging on junk food, spending hours in front of the TV, playing video games, or otherwise misbehaving.
But lots of parents are able to trust their teens to behave appropriately without adult supervision. And when parents trust their children enough to leave them home alone, they seize an opportunity to let their kids grow into responsible, independent adults. After all, in just a few years your teen may be living in a college dorm or starting a career - all without your careful oversight.
So how do you know if your teen is mature enough to stay home alone? Start by asking yourself the following questions:
- Is your teen nervous or afraid of staying home alone?
- Are you comfortable leaving your child home alone?
- How safe is your neighborhood?
- Is your child sensible, responsible and trustworthy?
- Does your teen tend to make good decisions, follow directions, and take responsibility for daily tasks like homework and chores?
- Does your child know how to use the stove and other appliances?
- Does your teenager understand the dangers of opening the door for strangers or telling a caller that their parents are away?
- Is your teen comfortable contacting you if there is a problem or if they made a mistake?
- Do you have friends, family members or neighbors you can count on if your child needs help?
Setting Ground Rules
If you decide your teen is ready to stay home alone, gradually start leaving them alone for 30-minute intervals and then build up to longer periods of time. Ask how your child would handle different scenarios that may arise and make sure they know how to reach you as well as neighbors, emergency services and other resources in case something happens.
Experts also suggest having emergency evacuation and fire safety plans in place and teaching your child basic first aid, though surveys show that roughly 25 percent of parents leave their children home alone without adequate guidance about safety.
Next, set up a few ground rules. For example, instruct your teen not to answer the door in your absence and discuss how to tell anyone who calls that parents aren’t available. If your child is fairly young, talk about which appliances are okay to use and whether TV, Internet and video games are acceptable pastimes without parental supervision.
Also decide whether your child can have friends over or leave the house, and whether prior permission is required. Because teens fare best with structure, make sure you offer some ideas about what should be done while you’re gone, such as homework, reading or chores.
As with all rules, you should decide ahead of time what the consequences will be for breaking them. Then be sure to follow through with the consequences if a rule is broken and take some time before letting your child stay home alone again.
If you’re considering leaving your teen home alone, the final decision should be based on what you feel is best for your child’s development. While you don’t want to miss out on a valuable growth experience, you and your teen both have to be ready for new responsibilities. With a little guidance and preparation, your teen will be ready to prove that they are capable of exercising good judgment and are worthy of your trust.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Two Steps Forward, Three Steps Back. . . Parenting 's Ups and Downs
This week began on a high note. The kids decided, after watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, that they were going to make over the front porch, sitting room, and a bedroom in our house. They worked together and did a phenomenal job. In fact, I can actually walk onto our front porch without tripping over basketballs, scooters, skateboards, and in-line skates. It was great seeing them work together.
The following morning Dash woke up and made pancakes for himself and Violet (Jack-Jack had already eaten a bowl of cereal). I thought, "finally, we're turning a corner." However, it was just a slight bend in the road.
Yesterday was back to our chaotic "normal." It was the classic two-against-one day. The older two tormented Jack-Jack most of the afternoon. They decided they were "spies" who were on a mission to avoid Jack-Jack. Whenever Jack-Jack came near them, they ran from him. Whenever Jack-Jack tried to talk to them, they ignored him. The Jack-Jack felt rejected and ended up crying through almost an entire episode of SpongeBob (yes, I was trying to bribe him to stop crying by allowing him to watch cartoons).
Things went from bad to worse as an argument escalated over a busted slip-and-slide that had just been purchased two days ago. There were more tears and a lot of finger-pointing over who ripped a hole in the water slide.
Just when I was about to tell them to put on their swimsuits so that we could go jump in the pool, the skies opened up and unleashed a torrent of rain, thunder and lightening. I guess Mother Nature was crying along with me!
When I felt at my absolute low today, I kept reminding myself of the positive moments this week. I also keep reminding my children of how great they felt working together. Maybe it will start to sink in soon.
The following morning Dash woke up and made pancakes for himself and Violet (Jack-Jack had already eaten a bowl of cereal). I thought, "finally, we're turning a corner." However, it was just a slight bend in the road.
Yesterday was back to our chaotic "normal." It was the classic two-against-one day. The older two tormented Jack-Jack most of the afternoon. They decided they were "spies" who were on a mission to avoid Jack-Jack. Whenever Jack-Jack came near them, they ran from him. Whenever Jack-Jack tried to talk to them, they ignored him. The Jack-Jack felt rejected and ended up crying through almost an entire episode of SpongeBob (yes, I was trying to bribe him to stop crying by allowing him to watch cartoons).
Things went from bad to worse as an argument escalated over a busted slip-and-slide that had just been purchased two days ago. There were more tears and a lot of finger-pointing over who ripped a hole in the water slide.
Just when I was about to tell them to put on their swimsuits so that we could go jump in the pool, the skies opened up and unleashed a torrent of rain, thunder and lightening. I guess Mother Nature was crying along with me!
When I felt at my absolute low today, I kept reminding myself of the positive moments this week. I also keep reminding my children of how great they felt working together. Maybe it will start to sink in soon.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Their Secret Identities!
My children made me promise that I will not use their real names on this blog, so I vowed to keep their identities a secret. In keeping with the secret identity theme, I've decided to use names from one of my favorite family movies, "The Incredibles."
So, from now on, on this blog my children will be known as Dash, Violet, and Jack-Jack. (I was tired of calling them "oldest son, daughter, youngest son"). Hmmm. . . does that make hubby and I Mr. and Mrs. Incredible? There are many days when I could use Mrs. Incredible's superhero flexibility. Maybe not physically, but definitely emotionally and mentally!
[above: "Violet" and "Jack-Jack" with the Incredibles in Orlando, FL]
So, from now on, on this blog my children will be known as Dash, Violet, and Jack-Jack. (I was tired of calling them "oldest son, daughter, youngest son"). Hmmm. . . does that make hubby and I Mr. and Mrs. Incredible? There are many days when I could use Mrs. Incredible's superhero flexibility. Maybe not physically, but definitely emotionally and mentally!
[above: "Violet" and "Jack-Jack" with the Incredibles in Orlando, FL]
Monday, July 19, 2010
Too Cool for Radio Disney
Until a few months ago, my children were content listening to Radio Disney because it wasn't "babyish" as were the Raffi, Two of a Kind, and Classical Kids CDs I'd pop into our minivan's CD player. However, recently they've decided that Radio Disney is just not cool anymore. Or, rather, they are too cool for Radio Disney. The station of choice is now Philadelphia's Q102.
This past week, I relented and allowed them to turn on this station while on our way to the pool. I was dismayed as they sang along to Eminem and Rihanna's hit "Love the Way You Lie."
Here are just some of the lyrics:
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn/But that's all right because I like the way it hurts
And right now there's a steel knife in my windpipe/I can't breathe but I still fight . . . It's like I'm in flight/High of a love/Drunk from the hate
It's like I'm huffing paint/And I love it the more that I suffer I suffocate/And right before I'm about to drown she resuscitates me/She f*ing hates me/And I love it
What?!?! Are you kidding me! Huffing, f*ing, loving someone who is hurting you? There's NO WAY I want my kids listening to this. But, they are listening to it. They knew the song when it came one. Somewhere, somehow, they are listening to this garbage. And I know that I cannot police their every move. I am not with them when they are at school, at their extra-curricular activities, at sleep-overs with friends. But shouldn't they have the sense to know that this music is trash? That it's not appropriate for pre-teens? Yeah, right . . . I know. . . it's the forbidden fruit.
I've been reading thought Dr. Michael Bradley's book Yes, Your Teen is Crazy. So, when I got home I flipped to the index to see if he offered any advice for parents dealing with the horrible music their adolescents are listening to. I found a few pages on this topic. I can't say that I agree with everything he says, but I did grudgingly have to admit that Dr. Bradley is correct when he says that adults are the ones producing and marketing this junk to our kids in order to turn a profit. Adults are taking advantage of our teenagers' young minds. With that in mind, I read the rest of the section on music with an open mind. Here's an excerpt:
Is much of the music of today's adolescents outrageous, disgusting, evil, racist, chauvinistic, violent, and poorly harmonized? Without a doubt. Does it cause kids to become outrageous, disgusting, evil, racist, chauvinistic, violent, . . . and poorly harmonized? No, it doesn't.
Okay, he's the expert and I guess I should feel relieved to read those sentences, but I don't know if I fully agree that music doesn't have an impact on adolescents. Heck, how many of us feel uplifted when we hear certain songs, or moved to tears when we hear others? (Did I really just write "heck"? I hope my kids don't read this because any "coolness" points I've earned from them will go right out the window!) Anyway, that's just my opinion.
But some of Dr. Bradley's suggestions I am going to try to employ. For instance, he suggests that parents bargain with their teens and tell them that they can listen to the music as long as the parent and child listen to it together and talk about it. Dr. Bradley also suggests that parents try not to forbid music and not to fight with their teens about it, but to save the big fights for really huge issues that will come down the pike (sex, drugs, alcohol). Hmmm . . . we'll see how well this goes when I begin a discussion about someone being burned and liking it! I'll keep you posted.
Until then, I'll throw the Raffi CD into my personal CD player, pop earphones into my ears, and wish for the times when life with the kids was simpler.
This past week, I relented and allowed them to turn on this station while on our way to the pool. I was dismayed as they sang along to Eminem and Rihanna's hit "Love the Way You Lie."
Here are just some of the lyrics:
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn/But that's all right because I like the way it hurts
And right now there's a steel knife in my windpipe/I can't breathe but I still fight . . . It's like I'm in flight/High of a love/Drunk from the hate
It's like I'm huffing paint/And I love it the more that I suffer I suffocate/And right before I'm about to drown she resuscitates me/She f*ing hates me/And I love it
What?!?! Are you kidding me! Huffing, f*ing, loving someone who is hurting you? There's NO WAY I want my kids listening to this. But, they are listening to it. They knew the song when it came one. Somewhere, somehow, they are listening to this garbage. And I know that I cannot police their every move. I am not with them when they are at school, at their extra-curricular activities, at sleep-overs with friends. But shouldn't they have the sense to know that this music is trash? That it's not appropriate for pre-teens? Yeah, right . . . I know. . . it's the forbidden fruit.
I've been reading thought Dr. Michael Bradley's book Yes, Your Teen is Crazy. So, when I got home I flipped to the index to see if he offered any advice for parents dealing with the horrible music their adolescents are listening to. I found a few pages on this topic. I can't say that I agree with everything he says, but I did grudgingly have to admit that Dr. Bradley is correct when he says that adults are the ones producing and marketing this junk to our kids in order to turn a profit. Adults are taking advantage of our teenagers' young minds. With that in mind, I read the rest of the section on music with an open mind. Here's an excerpt:
Is much of the music of today's adolescents outrageous, disgusting, evil, racist, chauvinistic, violent, and poorly harmonized? Without a doubt. Does it cause kids to become outrageous, disgusting, evil, racist, chauvinistic, violent, . . . and poorly harmonized? No, it doesn't.
Okay, he's the expert and I guess I should feel relieved to read those sentences, but I don't know if I fully agree that music doesn't have an impact on adolescents. Heck, how many of us feel uplifted when we hear certain songs, or moved to tears when we hear others? (Did I really just write "heck"? I hope my kids don't read this because any "coolness" points I've earned from them will go right out the window!) Anyway, that's just my opinion.
But some of Dr. Bradley's suggestions I am going to try to employ. For instance, he suggests that parents bargain with their teens and tell them that they can listen to the music as long as the parent and child listen to it together and talk about it. Dr. Bradley also suggests that parents try not to forbid music and not to fight with their teens about it, but to save the big fights for really huge issues that will come down the pike (sex, drugs, alcohol). Hmmm . . . we'll see how well this goes when I begin a discussion about someone being burned and liking it! I'll keep you posted.
Until then, I'll throw the Raffi CD into my personal CD player, pop earphones into my ears, and wish for the times when life with the kids was simpler.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Am I Crazy, or Are They?
I consider myself to be a pretty laid-back person--a go-with-the-flow, non-argumentative, don't-worry-be-happy person. However, until recently, I had never encountered the type of people I am dealing with now on a daily basis . . . pre-teens!
My oldest two children (especially my 12-year-old) challenges me daily. Nothing is ever his fault and he constantly tortures his younger siblings. I, of course know nothing about anything, according to him, and get this. . . he yells that I over-react!
Me--calm Mom--over-reacting. I feel as if I am losing control. I feel as if I am going crazy. Where is SuperNanny when I need her?
Two years ago while my children were all still cute and thought that I was the best mom in the world, their school invited Dr. Michael Bradley to come speak to parents. Dr. Bradley is an expert in adolescent behavior. After the event he signed copies of his book, Yes, Your Teen is Crazy! Loving Your Kid Without Losing Your Mind. The book has been collecting dust on my bookshelf for the past two years. This past week I plucked it off of the shelf and began reading it.
The following story in the beginning of the book has given me a little clarity and hope, and is helping me restore what little sanity I have left:
Michael's mom sat in my office sobbing, repeatedly attempting to reason with her raging and verbally vicious adolescent son. After watching his endless bullying and her tormented begging for too long, I sent him out of the room, turned to her and said, "Why are you talking to him like he makes sense?" "What do you mean?" she sobbed. I gave her the same shrugging "Duh" gesture her son had just used a dozen times and I almost yelled, "He's nuts! You can't talk to crazy people like they make sense."
Her eyes and mouth flew open, astonished at my insensitivity. Slowly her wrenching sobs transformed into chuckling, softly at first, then building to a crescendo of raucous laughter that rang off the walls. "Oh God," she howled, "How I needed to laugh like that! It feels wonderful. You're right. Michael is nuts. And I'm nuts to sit here and talk with him like that."
Every time I read that, it reminds me that maybe I'm not as crazy as I think I am. Maybe they are!
WMTVEAHYTRG5
My oldest two children (especially my 12-year-old) challenges me daily. Nothing is ever his fault and he constantly tortures his younger siblings. I, of course know nothing about anything, according to him, and get this. . . he yells that I over-react!
Me--calm Mom--over-reacting. I feel as if I am losing control. I feel as if I am going crazy. Where is SuperNanny when I need her?
Two years ago while my children were all still cute and thought that I was the best mom in the world, their school invited Dr. Michael Bradley to come speak to parents. Dr. Bradley is an expert in adolescent behavior. After the event he signed copies of his book, Yes, Your Teen is Crazy! Loving Your Kid Without Losing Your Mind. The book has been collecting dust on my bookshelf for the past two years. This past week I plucked it off of the shelf and began reading it. The following story in the beginning of the book has given me a little clarity and hope, and is helping me restore what little sanity I have left:
Michael's mom sat in my office sobbing, repeatedly attempting to reason with her raging and verbally vicious adolescent son. After watching his endless bullying and her tormented begging for too long, I sent him out of the room, turned to her and said, "Why are you talking to him like he makes sense?" "What do you mean?" she sobbed. I gave her the same shrugging "Duh" gesture her son had just used a dozen times and I almost yelled, "He's nuts! You can't talk to crazy people like they make sense."
Her eyes and mouth flew open, astonished at my insensitivity. Slowly her wrenching sobs transformed into chuckling, softly at first, then building to a crescendo of raucous laughter that rang off the walls. "Oh God," she howled, "How I needed to laugh like that! It feels wonderful. You're right. Michael is nuts. And I'm nuts to sit here and talk with him like that."
Every time I read that, it reminds me that maybe I'm not as crazy as I think I am. Maybe they are!
WMTVEAHYTRG5
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